Coaching 101: When TMS is Felt

When TMS is felt by your healer, massage therapist, reiki practitioner etc….

TMS stands for Tension Myositis Syndrome.

• TMS is a condition where emotional stress and psychological tension cause physical pain in muscles, tendons, or joints

• Commonly affects back, neck, shoulders, arms, or hands, but can show up anywhere, including fingers, which can present during reflexology

This is something I watch for closely while I’m stretching a clients legs or arms… or especially the fingers. Those who hold a lot of anger…or disappointment experience unexplainable pain. I also tend to smell a sweet aroma or “sweet potatos” when my energy wants me to ask deeper questions. Odd yes, but if it helps a clients further their healing I will ask away.

Here is the story of “Collette” and a healing session using reflexology:

Collette’s Session:

She doesn’t realize how tightly she’s holding herself until she’s lying on the massage table.

At first, it’s subtle. A lifted shoulder. A shallow breath. Fingers that won’t quite rest. Her body is still, but not at ease. Beneath the surface, her nervous system hums—alert, watchful, prepared.

She has lived here for a long time.

In a body that scans.

In a mind that notices everything.

In a system that believes staying tense is what keeps her safe.

So when the session begins, nothing dramatic happens. There is no instant melting, no surrender.

And that’s exactly where the healing starts.

The healer doesn’t rush.

She doesn’t try to fix, force, or override what the body is doing. Instead, she meets it. Quietly. Respectfully. As if to say:

I see you. You don’t have to change for me.

The first touch is steady. Predictable. Grounded. No surprises. Feet…reflexology.

And the body—so used to bracing—pauses.

Not relaxing yet. Just… noticing.

The work continues slowly, rhythmically. Not searching for tension, but creating safety. Stroke by stroke, breath by breath, the healer speaks in a language deeper than words:

You are allowed to be here.

You are allowed to feel this.

Nothing is being taken from you.

You are safe…to heal.

Time passes differently here.

Then, almost imperceptibly, something shifts.

It happens in the hands.

The place where control lives. Where holding on feels necessary. Where letting go has never felt entirely safe.

The healer moves gently, finger by finger. No pulling. No insisting. Just presence. A shift begins from male energy to female.

And the body responds.

A longer exhale.

A softening that wasn’t there before.

A quiet moment where the guard drops—just a fraction.

And in that moment… something else enters the space.

A sweetness.

Subtle, but unmistakable.

Not from a bottle. Not from the room.

But from the shift itself.

The nervous system, for the briefest moment, steps out of survival and into something softer. Something open. Something that feels like… relief.

The healer notices.

But she doesn’t chase it.

She doesn’t deepen the pressure or try to expand the moment. Because she understands something important:

The body is not ready to be pushed through this doorway.

It only needs to know the doorway exists.

So she stays.

Right there, in the quiet edge of safety.

And just as gently as it opened, the body pulls back. A small tension returns. A subtle resistance. The familiar pattern reasserts itself.

This is not failure.

This is intelligence.

A system that has learned, over time, to protect itself doesn’t abandon that role all at once. It tests. It approaches. It retreats.

And in doing so, it learns.

The healer honors this.

She softens her touch. Slows her rhythm. Gives control back with every movement.

You’re safe.

You’re in charge.

We can go as slowly as you need.

Nothing is forced.

Nothing is taken.

Everything is invited.

By the end of the session, the changes are not dramatic—but they are real.

A slightly deeper breath.

A little less guarding in the shoulders.

A body that remembers, even faintly, what it felt like to let go.

And that is enough.

Because healing, for a nervous system like hers, does not happen in a single release.

It happens in moments like this.

Moments where the body begins to trust that it does not have to stay on high alert.

Moments where safety is not something it has to create—but something it can receive.

And perhaps most importantly…

Moments where someone meets it exactly as it is, and asks nothing more.

This is how the body learns.

This is how trust is rebuilt.

This is how healing begins. Excellent.

Dezi Golden

Reiki Healing Practitioner, Life Coach, and LMT

If you're ready for deeper healing support, coaching, or a Reiki clearing session with Dezi contact (575) 932-9741.

Named changed to protect privacy. Posted with permission.